Simple ideas to think more positively

Photo by Nathan Lemon on Unsplash

Having negative thoughts is normal. We think because we have them that that they must be true.  Problems arise when we believe all the negative thoughts in our head. Here are some ideas to help with negative thinking.

 I am not suggesting that you do all of these in one go. They are just a few well-trodden ideas. Maybe pick one and try it for a week. Notice how you feel when you start and then notice what it feels like a week later. You have probably been doing the same thing for a long time, so it will need a bit of work to change something that is so entrenched but with practice it will happen.

So when you have negative thoughts:

  1. Keep a thought diary and write down the thoughts in one column. In another write down the emotion, and in a third explore the thought. Ask what is the evidence for this way of thinking? Is there another way to look at this? What would I say to someone I loved or loved in the same situation? Keeping a thought diary helps to identify thinking problems. With this knowledge we can make changes to our thinking. In CBT the belief is that we feel the way we think. If we can change how we think we can alter how we feel.
  2. Practice smiling when you have this thought – you can’t be happy and sad at the same time. In my family “Friends” the TV show is our family “go to” in the evening as it always brings out a laugh for everyone no matter what mood they are in. Find something that makes you laugh.
  3. Take yourself out of yourself by doing something for someone else. Maybe write a thankyou note or call a friend and let them know you appreciate something they have done for you. Or check-in with someone you know that is having a tough time and see how they are doing.
  4. Introduce a gratitude practice. At the end of each day write down 3 things that you are grateful for butalso write down the reason why? Gratitude according to Robert Emmons, who is probably one of the best known experts on studying gratitude says it has two parts. First “it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received.” The second part of gratitude, he explains, “we recognize that the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves. … We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives. ” The ability to be grateful is a skill and can be learned. There is loads of research that shows how gratitude helps cultivate positive emotions and even has physical benefits like strengthening the immune system and boosts forgiveness and compassion. Deliberately learn to practise focusing on the good stuff that we have in our lives rather than what we don’t have. We can’t be grateful and resentful at the same time.
  5. Seek out those friends who are optimistic and have positive energy and allow their good vibes to wash over you. Stay away from the energy vampires or dementors who suck happiness from you.
  6. 54321 The “54321” is a wonderfully simple but effective grounding tool that can help through lots of difficulties including handling negative thoughts. With practice it can develop our ability to “self-rescue” or “self-soothe.” I have written about this in depth previously so check out my earlier 54321 blog post

These things will not help right away, they are not magic pills they are skills that require effort and practice. At first you may do them and don’t instantly feel change but if you keep practicing  then just like going to the gym and training hard to lift heavier weights then in time it will get better and the positive feeling will come. So pick one now and just do it. Stick with it for a couple of weeks and then try another, in time you will have a pool of resources to dip in when you need to.

If you are really struggling with negative thoughts, feeling overwhelmed then don’t do it alone seek out a friend or your doctor or go to a professional to talk to.